Heaven is a place on Earth

I began this post with a different title:

Get Thee Behind me Krispy Kreme

OR... The Makings of a Behind. Mine, that is.

But when I saw this photo-illustration, well, it just about says it all.

It's true. I LOVE Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Specifically the chocolate glazed and chocolate glazed creme filled varieties. And that's bad. And I know absolutely how bad it is. You see,

I used to make the doughnuts.

Okay, not KK doughnuts, but the very same kind of fried, glazed doughnuts. Oh yes. Back in the summer of '94. What can I say, I was trying to earn $$ for college.

I worked at Pizza Hut in the evenings until about 11:30 or midnight, would go home for a few hours, and then go make the doughnuts at about 3:30 AM. I still love Pizza Hut pizza, too, and believe me, I ate a lot of Pizza Hut pizzas back then.

So here's the scoop: I worked at a 24 hour Winn-Dixie on Fury's Ferry Rd. in Augusta, but there weren't many folks around when I came in. So I'd go back to my little corner of the bakery and get to work. The fryer was noisy and I couldn't hear the piped in music, so I'd sing to myself. I'd sing hymns or tunes from Annie, The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, Phantom of the Opera or Nat King Cole --these are the songs for which I knew all the words. Only occasionally did I find I had an audience. One fellow in particular seemed to catch me singing -- he'd come in at about 5:15AM to pick up a dozen or two doughnuts which were scheduled to be put out at 5:25. If I was working, he'd wait and watch me decorate them and chat with me a bit. If the other gal was working he'd go to the end of the aisle where the day-olds were. She was pretty crabby -- and SO not a morning person. Once I caught him peeking around the aisle near the bakery -- he was checking the terrain to see which one of us was working -- too funny!

Anyway, here are a few little pieces of info. on our friend, the glazed doughnut, and his associates:




1) There's no such thing as a doughnut hole, although it is true that doughnuts do have holes. To make doughnut holes, one must cut up the uncooked doughnut dough that is preformed into the doughnut shape.
2) If one tries to apply the glaze too soon after frying the doughnut, or if one slings the glaze-applying trough too hard, allowing too much glaze to come through, the doughnut will deflate beneath the weight of it.

3) Each doughnut absorbs about, oh, 1/4 cup of 100% vegetable oil shortening -- and that's before the glaze goes on.

4) Doughnut holes and long doughnut twists are exceptionally difficult to make, as doughnut products go. Twists are the worst. First of all, they are shaped by hand. They must be twisted just the right way or there will be problems in the fryer. As the tray of twists/holes is submerged, the twists/holes float on top of the oil, absorbing it. Once it is a golden brown, one must quickly and expertly flip each and every twist or hole. If one waits too long (or if the twist was top-heavy or side-heavy), they won't stay when they are turned-- they just roll right back over. If that happens, one must then use one of the long wooden stick-like 'flippers' to turn it over and then hold it there, upside down, to cook the other side. If it is undercooked it will likely deflate when the glaze is applied, and of course, the other side will be overcooked and very tough.

5) Knowing all that I know about them, they still taste really good to me!


Holy Cow! In searching for a photo of a doughnut twist, I found this! It's a website featuring a 60 second video of doughnut-making and a whole lot more. Just look at them floating in the grease! It's a beautiful thing!


And for those of you who enjoy a good parody, check these out:
To the tune of:
O Christmas Tree/ O Tannenbaum
99 Red Balloons
Requiem for a Kreme -- this last one is a silly video some boys made. Skip the first minute thirty or so, and enjoy the rest. Oh, and don't cry over spilled milk, k?